Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep

So several things have happened since my last blog post. Firstly my contract has ended with The Lost Colony and I am back at home. However, seven days before my contract ended my body had decided that enough was enough and I had a nice 5 day stay at the Outer banks Hospital where I received heavy, draining, yet effective treatment for my Crohn's disease. I was released from the hospital two days before I was to move out and I was panicked. A fun fact about hospital trips is that you don't always get released when you are better, rather they discharge you when there is nothing more they can do for you and the rest is up to God. I left better than I was before, but depleted of any kind of energy source. The treatment I was given was potent, and caused my body to use any strength it had to heal itself. I was glad to be back in my own space, but I was plagued by the reality that I had four months worth of my life to pack up and I could barely stand on my own.

The power of prayer is something that I have never debated and have only been amazed by as I grow older. I called my grandparents completely broken, wishing away not only the packing process but the 4 hour drive to Raleigh by myself to pick up my dad so he could drive me the rest of the way home. Even though hundreds of miles apart they prayed over me, for someone to be kind enough to help me and that my strength would return quickly.

In enters two beautiful souls: Jimmy and Grace, two of my dear friends that I met doing the show. Jimmy is a gifted dancer and Grace can pretty much do it all. They came in just when I needed them, packed my life in my car, let me boss them around from my bed, and re-assured me that everything was going to be OK. In the end it really didn't take all that much time to do, and wasn't as big of a task as I was picturing it to be, but needless to say it was a few hours given to me as a great gift, and they know how grateful I am to them for their love and support. The drive was manageable but not desirable. Whoever designed the route from the Outer Banks to Raleigh clearly did not have Crohn's disease, for there was an hour and a half stretch without any bathrooms. I was in the middle of farm land for over 70 miles, and I was panicking all the way. Finally I reached some semblance of civilization and not too long afterwards I was driving aimlessly around the Raleigh airport unable to find the cell phone lot that was hiding from me and just parked in short term parking per my mom's advice. Dad came and found me, kicked me out of the driver's seat and set out to get me home, because that's where we both knew I needed to be.

In between uncomfortable naps I thought about my last few weeks in North Carolina. My health took a really fast downward spiral, because that's what health does sometimes, and always without your consent. Several people had things to say about it whether it was amongst themselves or directly to my face, either way alot of it got back to me. At first I was hurt that people would assume I allowed this to happen to myself, but I soon dismissed that as ignorance. Whoever thinks that someone wants to look weak and admit they have a problem they can't control is delusional. I settled on the idea that these people were not worth the time I spent thinking about their opinions, and left it at that. At least be educated when you mud sling, it's alot more attractive and much more effective.

I have been home a week now and I have been so blessed. My recovery is going well and I am so thankful for that. I have been spending time with family, and those friends you wish were family and have been so happy. My parents and grandparents have been so loving and understanding, and Amber and Jenna and Spencer (even though he is in Cinci) have been uplifting and caring in the ways that remind me why they are so important to me. I love you all.

Even though one adventure has ended, there are several more coming up for me! I have an audition with a theatre company in Naples soon that is really promising. I also am going to be teaching a master class titled "What's this Business about Show Business" on the 10th to high school students to help them be better prepared for the business side of theatre. I will be starting an office job at a temp agency helping them with marketing as well as nannying for a very sweet family. I will of course continue writing my book and sharing on here... but perhaps the biggest undertaking of them all, is that I am going to be in an upcoming production of Hairspray as the cover for Tracy with Prather Entertainment! If things go well with this show there may be other opportunities with this company that could lead to some really big things. SO EXCITING!

I may have Crohn's disease, but my God is bigger than any disease. I am going to continue to follow his will for my life and I know that I will be just fine. Actually I will be more than fine, I will be blessed, and that's exactly what it should be.

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