Sunday, December 30, 2012

Make New Friends But Keep The Old, For One Is Silver, The Other Gold.

Merry late Christmas and Happy almost New Year!! I hope that everyone's holiday was spent with the ones you hold dear and was everything you hoped it would be. I know that mine was :)

To say the least, we were BUSY!!! It was kind of tough for me since I am sick and all (you don't know HOW MUCH I HATE SAYING THAT) having such a jammed schedule, but really I think this was the best Christmas I have ever had in my little adult life. This is the first Christmas I have experienced while in a serious relationship, so this was also the first year of figuring out who's family wins our presence and whom we have to duck out on early or whom we had to miss entirely. We both have HUGE families which I love, and they are all local which I usually also love, but two days and around ten Christmas events to make is pretty remarkable. But man, am I SO GLAD that we did it.

I no longer feel like Bobby and I have separate families, rather they are just extensions of our own. I have never felt more encouraged and accepted by both my family, and these new beautiful hearts that went above and beyond to show me that I am also my family. If any of you happen to be reading this, I just want to again say how sincerely thankful and blessed we are by you, not just on Christmas, but everyday. This has been one of the hardest years of my life, and to be welcomed into not only your homes but also your hearts when I myself feel the least worthy of that is just unexplainable. Because of your kindness, I now see the adult meaning of Christmas as it were... to simply accept, and to love through that acceptance.

With all the horrible things in the world that have gone on lately that I simply don't have the stomach to even talk about much less compose a post about, I had started to feel ashamed of myself. Even though my quality of life is somewhat diminished right now by this horrible illness I am dealing with right now, at least it is a life to be had. So I am facing all the fear and the hesitation within and am going to just start living. Because of the love and warmth that was this Christmas and I'm sure will be the New Year as well, I will simply start doing the things that I can do, and worrying about the rest later. You know, I shouldn't even worry about those things, for worry is not only such a grand waste of time, it depletes the energy I have for the good. So worry is out. But you know what I mean :)

SO even though I am exhausted beyond belief, not able to eat all that much for the next few days and basically chained to the bathroom, it was totally worth it. :) I hope everyone has a blessed and meaningful New Year full of love and acceptance!!!

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