Sunday, April 25, 2010
All The Single Ladies
Now put your hands up!! Ohp. Yep my hand is in the air. I'm just gonna put that right back down. Yes ladies and gents, I am single. I'm the girl that sits at a table for one, rents chick flicks to watch alone and secretly be jealous, and attends parties with my sassy gay friend instead of getting a real date. (Which in my opinion is so much more fun) At this stage in my life I feel like its a catch twenty two situation: I'm young, so why tie myself down, yet every where I look someone else is announcing their engagement or popping out another kid. Now I don't want any babies... I already have two (my brother and sister) and that is enough to last me well into this decade and beyond. However the marriage thing sounds kinda nice. I don't want it now, but I see it as a realistic fairytale, and that makes it seem intriguing. I know that the lot of you out there would love to grab me by my shoulders and give me a nice shake, telling me that marriage is anything but a fairy tale... but a girl can dream right?
Right now I consider myself a casual dater. I have never had a serious relationship, mostly because I haven't met anyone serious enough to have one with. I have been in love, but it was a terrible, one sided love extravaganza, and I most certainly wouldn't suggest it. It taught me a lot though, and it certainly showed me that I am worth tons more than I give myself credit for. So now I am back on the dating scene, and let me tell you, it is one bizarre place.
In high school I never dated. Ever. I went to homecoming in groups, and never went to prom. My sophomore year there was an older guy that I wanted to go with. We were really good friends and he was desperately trying to figure out who to go with. In a fit of courage I asked him why he couldn't just go with me... he told me I was the wrong dress size. So that kinda soured me on dances after that. Once out of high school however, I felt less oppressed. I was free from trying to smush myself into a mold I will never fit, and I embraced myself, and soon grew to love who I am. So I eased into the dating world.
I got lucky with the first one. He was a friend and a really great guy. We shared the same interests and genuinely had a good time together. However, down the line we saw that this could go no where, my heart is set on one path and his was set on another, and we were both racing to catch the next break. We still remain friends. When I moved into Cincinnati my need for a special someone went in to hyper drive, and I became a dating machine. Truthfully there were two reasons. The obvious one that I wanted to find someone to have a relationship with, and the second... to get a free meal every once in a while :/ I KNOW how terrible that sounds but its true.
So to say the least I had my fair share of awkward dates. One guy asked me to come to his dorm building and go to a dorm party with him. I was there for all of 15 minutes before I texted my sassy gay friend Spencer (Hey boo) and demanded he act as if he were dying so I could come home and watch Hercules with him. Lots of guys wanted to be sleezy and have me just come to their apartments or the even cheaper ones that wanted to come to mine. Needless to say that didn't happen. If I'm gonna stay in, I would rather do it alone or with someone I know SUPER well. I don't wanna make small talk in my own home.
However, there was one date, and it was the epic fail of all dates. I had been talking to this guy for a few weeks, and he seemed fantastic. He was funny, understanding, and could keep up with my pace, so I was all about it. He lived about twenty minutes away, and offered to drive down one Saturday so that we could go out. I was so excited. Just ask Spencer. All of our conversations swiftly shifted to what I thought of this guy, and drove Spencer nearly out of his mind. As usual, he chided me and told me not to get ahead of myself, and to just wait for the weekend.
Saturday came and so did my date. He met me at my place and he came upstairs for a minute. While asking him about his drive, he took my hand, turned it over and commenced to read my palm. Interrupting me (always a no no) he told me that I was going to have a long life, a static career but a successful one, and two and a half children. When I told him I thought we estimated up when counting children, he justified himself by telling me that I either adopt a child or have a miscarriage. WOW. OK. So now we move on to the car ride, where he commences to play TERRIBLE MUSIC which is like a criminal offense in my book. Music is my life, so you can see where the problem lies. He actually got offended when I wasn't deeply and emotionally moved by a crappy coral number. Ugh. Finally one good song that came on, he just wouldn't shut up about the girls voice. Then he commited blashphamy. He looked at me and said "Bet you can't do that." HA. I made the poor fool play it twice more so I could learn it and then gave a Tony award winning performance in the passenger seat of his crappy car. I think he fell in love. I however was just pleased to have proved my point. Then the icing on the cake. At dinner, something I said reminded him of his grandmother. His dead grandmother. His grandmother they pulled the plug on and commenced to live for four days. Oh, and he was crying. Actually let me make that sobbing. At dinner. Yep. It actually happened. Of course I sent Spencer the S.O.S. text which read much like, If you want to live call me now with a terrible ailment, and soon I was rid of the date from hell.
The reason I have been thinking about this today specifically is that I have been surrounded by couples all day long. Couples that have been together for half a century, and couples that have just started out. I didn't feel alone or anything like that, I mean goodness I was in a room full of people. However it made me think. I was surprised to see that I wasn't upset. I was just fine. This is the life I have chosen. Career first for now. Acting is no easy gig for one person, so to drag a relationship though it before you are established would be murder. Now this isn't to say that if something presents itself that I wouldn't go for it. I live for the moment. However, I'm not looking. So for now, I am just fine remaining a Single Lady :)