Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Just a Day, Just an Ordinary Day
You know those days where you wake up and you just want to roll back over because you know nothing special is going to happen that day? Well that's me. Today and yesterday there has been nothing that I have been excited about. I have barely been motivated to get out of my PJ's, but as it is frowned upon to run errands in flannel sheep pants I have been forced to put on real clothes. On top of my un-eventful days, I feel terrible. I have pink eye in both eyes, which makes sleeping the day away that much more appealing, so that my eyes won't hurt. I also had a check up at the doctor's where they mashed all over my stomach. Rafael (my colon) was not at all pleased by the unwanted tampering and has decided to be rude today. And so it goes...
The past day and a half have been pretty routine. Had a few errands to run so I can wrap things up down here before my job in North Carolina. My car Theresa (For those of you who don't know me I name EVERYTHING) has been acting up YET AGAIN so she was getting fixed yesterday. It's starting to become a mad dash to the finish line, and the mundane things that I continue to put off are creeping up on me, and taunting me to get them finished. This is nothing new. Every time a go from one place to the next these little tasks gang up on me and become one giant one, daring me to continue to put it off.
Thus, I have been doing the mundane things of life. Running from here to there picking things up and dropping things off. It's the kind of things that are important until they are done, then after their completion they become obsolete. I prefer to spend my time doing things that make a difference after I have finished them, but being a big girl now I have to do things that I don't particularly want to do. No more sitting in a corner and hoping that it will resolve itself. Mom always encourages me by telling me that the small things I don't particularly care for are the things that get me to where I need to be. Just because she is right doesn't mean that I like it thus the vicious cycle continues.
I also have been trying to see the few people I stay in constant touch with before I leave. I saw my dad's half of the family on Sunday at the couple's extravaganza, and I plan to see Ambie sometime this week. Another good friend of mine caught me in a moment of weakness yesterday and I agreed to go hand out with her for a bit. What was supposed to be just a relaxing stop to chat quickly turned into a trek all across fort Myers. Which included meeting her new boyfriend. He is a nice guy that I had actually known through my first boyfriend. I don't even know if the real world would count him as a boyfriend because we were so young, but it Courtney Ville, that's how the story goes.
I actually had a good time. It was nice to see my friend, and I even had a good time with her new man friend. I have no problem putting up with people, making small talk, or easing awkward conversations, but I didn't have to do any of that which was nice. Even though I was a third wheel I didn't feel like it, which is a feat.
Because I have been feeling under the weather I have been watching a lot of mindless TV. Not even good mindless TV. Crap really. However, in all of it I was able to see a common thread. Everyone is trying to fill a void. On true life: I hate my face, two girls hated their self image so much that they had to continuously exploit their bodies to distract from their face. On even said "I don't know what to do. My body is all I have." This broke my heart!! What is the world coming to when a perfectly pretty girl ignores the fact that she has a mind and intelligence in her back pocket and relies solely on her body. She was filling her need for acceptance by demeaning herself to the point where someone would look her way. Also there was an older woman that was a hoarder. She lived in a five bedroom house, however was only able to live in one of them, because all of the others were packed from floor to ceiling with meaningless junk. To the average viewer, it was all trash, but to this woman, there was meaning behind every piece that occupied her home. She was filling her need for security by having tons of stuff. Even the people I ran into in the stores and the doctor's office, they were all there looking for something to fill a need. Whether it be a medication to make them feel better about themselves, or a new dress to impress someone else. We are all in search of something. Always. We always have to have somewhere to go, or somewhere to be or someone to become. Even the little errands that we have to do contribute to a need of some kind. I wish for that one day we could all just be content. That we could stop striving for the next thing, and live in the one we have. Just for a day. An Ordinary Day.
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. ~Albert Einstein