Thursday, April 22, 2010
So in this process of growing up I have noticed something interesting. Parent's aren't super heroes. They are regular human beings that disappoint, make mistakes, and say harsh things. The shift from seeing my mom as Wonder Woman to just a normal person has been a really hard one, but ultimately a necessary one. People always tell me you can't believe in fairy tales forever, and as much as I fight it, I know they are right.
When I was younger, I always said I was my mom on the outside and my dad on the inside. My dad and I shared a very thick layer or sarcasm and seemingly had the same view on things... cynical. My mom was much more analytical and planned. I am my mother's very own carbon copy, and when we are out in public we ALWAYS without fail get told that we are sisters. I told her one day that if someone tells me that I am the older one I am going to have a mental break down. Luckily for the both of us, that hasn't happened yet. Crazier things have happened though and I wouldn't put it past the world to play such a cruel prank on me.
In the heat of my teenage years, I can ashamedly remember saying that I didn't want to be like my mom. She was too uptight and willing to compromise, while all I wanted to be was a free spirit with no ties. It is no secret that mom's and daughters fight during that time, but throw a new house, and two new additions to the family in the mix and you have a disaster on your hands.
Then, I got sick. Wonder Woman was back. For four solid years my mom was the singular source of deep emotional support, while my dad was the stronghold of the finances. Without the thousands of hours my dad has worked I know that I wouldn't be in the health I am today. My mom never left my side. From city to city we traveled searching for the answer and I was so so grateful to have her there with me. Even to this day she gives me the injections I need to stay healthy. Who else would do that? I have my very own super hero.
I'm sure you are wondering why I am writing this sappy ode to my mom seemingly out of nowhere. While it is sappy, it is not without cause. Mom and I got the chance to spend some time together one on one tonight for the first time in months. We went to the mall and of course didn't spend any money at all... yeah right... and then settled on going to dinner at crisper's. (That place is delicious by the way.. it was my first time)
Tonight I was more relaxed than I have been in weeks and laughed harder than I have in months. I for once didn't have to entertain anyone or put on a show or even make small talk. In out few hours together I noticed, not only am I my mom on the outside, I am my mom through and through. Even though she may not get to be Wonder Woman all the time, she isn't just a regular person... she's my best friend. Even Wonder Woman couldn't be Wonder Woman all the time. She had a regular job, friends and a family outside of her supernatural life. Now I know that you aren't supposed to reveal a super hero's identity, but sorry Mom the cats out of the bag. I may be gone for a while, but that doesn't mean that things have to change. I love you with all my heart, and wouldn't be who I am without you. You are simply the best. :)